Useless and disturbing articles from ehow.com

As a guy who spends a lot of time on the internet I have come across many disturbing and hilariously useless articles on websites such as wikihow, ehow, and others, today I am going to list a few useless and possibly disturbing websites from ehow.com!

The first disturbing article is on ice dildos, yes i said ice dildos. OK I can see how a woman might enjoy this once in a while, but jesus christ go to the local adult bookstore and just buy one you loon! Seeing as you are not ashamed of buying condoms for this little project you should be able to buy a sex toy, stop getting red faced and go for it.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2123254_make-ice-dildo.html

The next article I found was so painfully dumb that I admit I cried a little, it's on how to use glue. For you who wrote this, I must say this, any person who is over the age of 4 should know how to use fucking glue! If you don't I'll explaine it really quick, take the glue, put it on a surface, put somehting on it and wait a while and look it's stuck to it! IT'S FUCKLING GLUE, LADY! The best part of this article is the Material Needed section, which simply lists of all things, glue.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2104795_use-glue.html

Continuing in our adhesive themed journey of perversion and idiocy, we have an article about using duct tape... No comment.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2273209_use-duct-tape.html

Up next, How to Scalp The iPhone! Thank you ehow for turning our children into price gouging assholes.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2070114_scalp-iphone.html

Ehow.com with all of your wonderful knowledge, tell me something else, like how to put together Ikea furniture using the instructions supplied with the product! Yes I swear it's there, if you don't believe me check the site. So how does one put together Ikea furniture using the instruction? Oh I don't know, how about by reading them?!?!

http://www.ehow.com/how_2100548_use-ikea-furniture-assembly-instructions.html

Ehow.com is also very opinionated about geeks, well ok jsut this one article is, it's about drawing geeks. And I quote:

"A geek is usually an odd-looking person whose physical appearance and mental interests combine to make him a social outcast. Since geeks are usually odd looking or unattractive, there are many different ways you can draw them--this is just one. Follow these easy steps to draw a geek."

Yeah well...fuck you too!

http://www.ehow.com/how_2321503_draw-geek.html

The next article I found was titled simply "Hot to Make the Best Drink Ever!" Let me sum this one up, it's Jack Daniels and Coke, except Coke is replaced with Pepsi.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2255429_best-drink-ever.html

In the spirit of becoming a godfather here recently I decided to look up Ehow.com's articles on babies, and boy was I not dissapointed. One I found was on joining a baby gym. For starters, it's a baby, not a body building asshole who munches protien bars and drinks Muscle Builder 5000 milkshakes! You want the baby to get excercise? just let them lye on the ground and wiggle around, that's what they do best, besides manufacture bodily fluids that will end up on you in one way or another. If you know anyone trying to join a baby gym, slap them and slap them hard.

http://www.ehow.com/how_2049218_join-baby-gym.html

Lastly ehow.com presents...How To Poop. after reading this I laughed so hard I almost did well, poop. The best parts of this one are the Materials Needed section and step 1
Materials needed:
# Toilet
# Toilet paper
# A full rectum full of feces
# Vasoline
# Air freshener

Yes it says "A full rectum full of feces" I was a bit worried as to what the vasoline waa for, but I persisted on...

Step 1: Once you feel like the feces will come out of your rectum, head to the nearest toilet.

Or if you're 90 or a newborn, just let it happen wherever you may be.
Look ehowe had a great relationship until now, but everyone knows how to poop, even dogs, cats, tubgirl, and hell even some of the ehow.com staff do now thanks to this article. Didn't any of you read Everybody Poops?

http://www.ehow.com/how_2255614_poop.html


Next article: disturbing things on wikihow, until then have fun doing whatever you do (including using glue, poop, duct tape, ikea furniture and ice dildos)